Because of a Purple Bra
by fruityapricots
Summary: Another purple bra. Another heartbreak. Another girl out the door. This was all very typical for James Potter. He gets what he wants and no girl can ever tame him. So it should come as no surprise that he's finally won over Lily Evans...right?
1. The Infamous Purple Bra

**IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ:** _I've decided to redo Because of a Purple Bra. New chapters, frequent updates. So even if you do follow this story, please reread these chapters again because a lot has changed! Look forward to many updates from me :)_

Quick summary: James is the arrogant as ever Head Boy, determined to get Lily Evans all to himself. Little does he know that Lily Evans has an agenda of her own…

Oh, and the **12345. **in the middle of the paragraphs is supposed to represent a break.

**The Infamous Purple Bra**

Fuck. I dodged right in time as she threw her shoe at my head, missing me by half an inch.

"What the fuck's your problem?" I bellowed at her as I continued to rub my left cheek that she'd slapped only moments ago.

She froze, her eyes wide with anger, in the middle of chucking her other shoe at me. She inched closer to me and while I've never been scared by a girl, my natural instincts told me to move away from her.

"My problem?" she said in a voice so low that I had to strain to hear her, yet I had no trouble picking up the excessive amount of venom laced in her words. "Did you just ask me what _my_ problem is?" And just like that, she exploded again. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You're the one who slept with someone else and just left everything lying around for me to find! Were you trying to be sly but failed miserably at it or are you just an incompetent pig?"

Normally, I would try to say as little as I could during a break up, but this girl really had me heated up. First she slaps me, then she throws her shoes at me, and on top of that, she calls me an incompetent pig? I'm James fucking Potter. I don't need to take this bullshit from anyone, especially a girl like Marlene.

"Did you really think we were going to be together forever?" I asked her. I laughed coldly, just to further prove her idiocy. "When we first started dating, you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into. Did you honestly think that you would be the girl to suddenly change me? Sorry to break it to you, but you don't mean _shit_ to me."

Maybe letting my temper get the best of me wasn't such a good idea. Before I knew it, she had leapt onto me and was kicking, scratching, and punching every single inch of me that she could get her bony little hands on. For a small girl, she sure was strong. And to think all this anger generated from finding a stupid, purple bra under my bed . . .

**12345.**

"Ouch, mate!" Sirius half laughed as he patted me on the back. I had woken up with a purple eye, half my face scratched up, and a cut on my lip. Damn that bitch to hell. If it weren't for the fact that I was bloody awful at healing charms, I would've fixed myself up before I left the dorm room. Unfortunately, I would have probably caused more damaged to myself so I resorted to finding Remus in the Great Hall so he could patch me up. Instead, I ended up finding Sirius halfway through stuffing his face with eggs and English muffins.

"Did Marlene do this to you?" Sirius asked. "That girl is tiny! Either you're weaker than I thought or she's way stronger than she looks."

"That girl is as bleeding strong as you are, Padfoot!" I retorted. "If you want, you can go try getting in a fight with that crazy bitch."

"I wouldn't mind getting a little frisky and heated up with her," Sirius said with a wink. "She's one good looking bird."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Whatever, I'm done with her. Where's Moony?"

Sirius shrugged as he took another mouthful of eggs and sausage. "Probably off finishing that essay we have for Potions." As he spoke, little bits of eggs flew out of his mouth. I cringed. I had a slight obsession with being neat, but only when it came to food. I hated it when people had food on their faces or food stuck in their teeth. It repulsed me. It was even worse when food shot out of their mouth while they talked, something that was quite typical with Sirius.

"Shit," I muttered. "I'll have to get someone in Ancient Runes to do that for me." I went into a slight reverie as I imagined the look on girls' faces when I asked them for help. I was told it was almost as good as shopping for them. Strange creatures . . .. "Anyway, I'm going to go find Moony so he can mend my once beautiful face."

Sirius nodded in response as he once again shoved more food down his throat. I moved away from him before I could get another chance to see bits of food sprayed all over me. Disgusting pig.

As I walked out of the Great Hall, I was completely aware of the fact that Marlene was staring daggers at me. Not to mention the amount of attention I was getting from girls. Well, more so than usual. It was obvious that news of our fight had spread along with the fact that I was once again single. I chuckled to myself as I thought of the rumors circulating around me at this point. I faintly wondered if anyone knew who the owner of the purple bra was. Not that it mattered. Everyone had always known that Emmaline Vance and I were on and off ever since the first day we had met. People probably assumed, correctly, that she'd been the one.

She was, to put it simply, my "rebound" girl, my friend with benefits. I didn't want anything from her and she didn't want anything from me. I would even go as far as saying that Emmaline was the female version of myself, though not nearly as attractive nor experienced as me. It was common knowledge that neither of us really cared about each other. We just valued the physical aspects of one another.

I was interrupted from my thoughts as I bumped into someone outside the library. Scrawled out on the floor in front of me with books everywhere was the resident red head herself, Lily Evans.

"You could watch where you're going, Potter." She snapped at me as she got up and gathered up her books.

"People have to watch where they're going around me, not the other way around." I flashed her a smile. "Haven't you learnt that by now, Evans?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "You're such an arrogant prick, you know that?"

"I live to annoy the fuck out of you, dear." I replied as I passed her and entered the library. I faintly heard her yell "nice scars" after me, but I paid no attention. She so wanted to get in my pants. She just didn't know it yet.

Lily was the most peculiar person I've ever met. Peculiar as in the first person who hasn't wanted to jump my bones on the very spot. Apparently to Lily Evans, it's inner beauty that counts, not outer beauty. What a bunch of fucking bullshit to make ugly people feel better about themselves. She was the type of person that looked beyond physical attributes and appreciated long talks as opposed to heated snogging. She was a strange creature, really. She could easily be the most attractive girl in our grade, hell in our entire school, if she didn't have stick constantly up her arse.

I won't deny it, as I'm sure no other male would either, but Lily's cropped up into my fantasies a few times. It's the combination of her fiery red hair, her green eyes, and milky smooth skin that's always taunting me whenever she crosses her legs in class. But whatever boner-inducing looks she has is completely crushed by her personality. A girl like her takes time and effort, two things that I _never_ associate with getting women.

"Moony!" I exclaimed a bit too loudly when I found him with his head buried inside a book in the library.

"Mister Potter, hush up or leave!" Madame Pince snapped at me.

I cringed at the high pitch of her voice and gave her a meek smile. I grabbed a chair and plopped down in it and flashed Remus a wide smile.

"Allo, my dear." I said, trying to sound sweet and loving.

"Need help with healing charms, again?" Remus asked in a tired voice.

I patted him on the back. "You know me too well."

He shook his head at me then grabbed his wand from his back pocket. "Hold still," he instructed. I held as still as I could while he muttered a few spells and waved his wand around my face. I felt a cool, trickling sensation, followed by quick warmth. "All done."

I ran a hand over my face. Smooth and flawless as always. "Thanks, mate. I owe you one."

"Or a dozen. How many times has it been so far?" He mused.

"Too many," I sighed, "girls just don't appreciate my way of life. They're too uptight for fuck's sake."

"One," he said, "they don't appreciate your way of life because you treat them like objects, not human beings with feelings. And two, have you ever tried not cursing so much?"

I leaned in, my eyebrows raised. "Since when are you the speaker of women? And no, I have not considered not cursing. It's a part of who I am. It would be like if I suddenly didn't have a nose or something. How could anyone ever love me if I'm not me?"

"That's deep." Remus mocked me. "It's called being polite, Prongs. Maybe if you weren't such a jerk to girls and didn't curse at them every five seconds, you wouldn't get beat up by them."

I frowned. "Whose side are you on?"

Remus sighed. "Yours, of course. I'm just trying to help prevent any future beat ups. You know one day, I may not be able to fix you. It's just a matter of time before karma breaks your heart just like all the other hearts you've broken."

"Who's Karma?" I said with smirk. "Is she hot? Blonde? Long legs? You know how I like the long legs. Ohh, I hope she can do the thing with the cherry stem with her tongue! Only met one girl so far that could do that and man was she bloody good at giving or-"

"Stop!" Remus said and abruptly got up. "Please don't make me throw up my breakfast only after 20 minutes of ingesting it!"

I grinned. Dear old Remus and his constant worrying. I'd love to see the day that a girl manages to pull me under _her_ spell. Im-fucking-possible.

I'm James Potter and no girl can ever keep me tied down.


	2. The Charming Head Boy

**The Charming Head Boy**

Head Boy. I pinned the badge proudly to my chest as I walked down the train, ignoring the eager eyes that were looking at me from the compartments. I was on fucking top now. I could easily get away with anything and everything now that I was the authority leader. Dumbledore must have been out of his mind crazy when he decided to make me Head Boy. Nonetheless, I took the position with pride and made a point to discuss new prank strategies with the rest of the Marauders.

Coming back to Hogwarts and not only being a seventh year but also Head Boy gave me a sense of... well, empowerment. There was nothing I couldn't do. I knew people envied me. Hell, if I were someone else, I would wish I were as good looking and simply sodding amazing as James Potter. So what if my ego was a little too big? No one else seemed to mind. Well, aside from Lily Evans, who had done nothing but eyed me with disbelief when I saw her on the compartment.

"Potter, you're Head Boy?" She asked me in a disbelieving voice.

I puffed out my chest a bit, not that I needed it though. I had the muscular arms, chest, legs, and abs thing going on. I showed it off proudly whenever I could. "You seem in shock, Evans."

"Clearly Dumbledore was not thinking clearly when he chose you." She continued. "Perhaps this is all a twisted joke or something."

"Hey, I have you know that I'm top in all of my classes." I replied back. She may be a hot bird, but no one talks down to James Potter. No one. "That's much more than you can say about yourself."

She laughed, though it wasn't the type of laugh you gave when something amused you. It was more of a haha-you're-so-lame-and-I'm-so-cool-that-I'll-just-laugh-at-you-like-I'm-ten-fucking-times-better-than-you. I would know; I laugh that laugh quite a few times myself. "Potter, are you on something? I'll have you know that I'm top of all our classes and you're merely number two."

I shrugged. "Maybe if I had a social life like yours I could be number one."

That got her to shut up real good. Her face went from playfully mocking me to a flicker of anger to just plain old disgust.

"Potter, grow up already."

Ouch.

**12345.**

I stuffed a spoonful of mashed potato in my mouth. Delicious. I truly missed the cooking at Hogwarts more than anything else. My mum, being the crazy nut that she is, decided right as I got home that it was time we all changed our diets from filling and delicious meals to healthy and parchment tasting meals. It was all organic, all the time. As I eyed the platter of food in front of in the Great Hall, I was shocked that I could see potatoes that had a bit of oil on them. Oil, all forms of it, had become like a banned substance at our house. That along with every other good tasting food. It was goodbye ice cream and butterbeer, hello celery sticks and carrot juice.

Blech.

"You look like you haven't ate or even seen food in years, Prongs." Remus commented as I took a large bite of shepherd's pie.

"Mmmm." I replied with my mouth closed. I may have been hungry, but I still was repulsed by the idea of food flying out my mouth. Once I swallowed, I said, "Food, so good."

Peter lifted an eyebrow. "What gives?"

"My mum," I said. "Decided that our diet wasn't healthy enough."

Sirius dropped his spoon. "What? Your mum? Mrs. Potter? Sophia Potter? Sophia Potter, the lady who makes the greatest pumpkin pie on the face of this Earth, Mrs. Potter?"

I sighed with an exasperated expression. "The very one."

Sirius' mouth dropped. "That's unheard of!"

"You're telling me mate." I said. "I'm ashamed to say that I have now not only tasted, but consumed at least three times a week, tofu."

Remus pretended to retch into his plate. "That's disgusting, mate."

I nodded as I stuffed my mouth with a heaping fork full of chops. So fucking good. It almost felt like a sin to eat anything this good. I'd forgotten what real food tasted like.

"Looks like you're having an orgasm with your pork chops, Potter." Emmaline said as she sat beside me. Oh Emmaline, sex goddess of my dreams. Her hair was slightly blonder now, her eyes as blue as ever. I'll definitely have to get with her sometime this week.

For now, I entertained her. I planted a kiss on the piece of pork chop on my fork before taking another bite. "Oh pork chop, ohhh, don't stop. Oh, porky."

Emmaline laughed. "You're something, you know that?"

I shrugged. "I try."

I let my hand graze her knee, then slip a little higher. I gave her soft, beautifully shaped thighs a squeeze. Right as we were smiling at each other, Marlene walked past us with a look of pure disgust on her face. I distinctly heard her cough whore.

"Ignore her," I said to Emmaline who blushed pink. Then in a slightly louder voice I said, "She's just jealous that she doesn't own a lacey, purple bra."

Marlene's head whipped around and she flashed me the middle finger. Fuck you too, Marlene. I grinned devilishly at her. An entire summer and she still wasn't over me. It was definitely going to be an interesting year.

**12345.**

"Game of Wizard's Chess?" Sirius asked me as we made our way to the Common Room.

"Nah mate," I said as I loosened up my tie. "I have a meeting with the Prefects I need to get to."

Sirius grimaced. "Good luck mate. Is Moony gonna be gone too?"

"Yeah, unless he's given up his Prefect's badge which I doubt he has." I replied.

Sirius sighed as he flopped down on the couch closest to the fire. "Guess I'll just have to beat Wormtail… again. I swear, it's like playing with a bloody brick wall with him."

I laughed. Oh, Peter. The only thing he's good at is making up pranks. I can't remember the last time a teacher didn't ask him to stay after class to talk about his homework. Poor bloke. Good thing he has a mate as incredibly smart as myself to help him out.

"Later, Padfoot." I said as I made my way towards the exit. On my way, I winked at a group of fifth year girls who all started to giggle and smile in a way that thought was flirty at me.

When I finally made it to the Prefect's lounge, I realized everyone was already there and that I was late.

"Fuck," I said as I made my way to the front of the room where Lily was glaring at me. A few of the Prefects that were closest to the door started to giggle at what I'd said. Seriously, how old are they? Five?

"Sorry I'm late…" I said, trying to think of an excuse. "Er, Head business."

Lily narrowed her eyes at me. "Clever," she said, her voice oozing with sarcasm.

I grinned at her. She didn't go weak at the knees like all the other girls do. "I try."

She rolled her eyes at me, and then said in a quieter voice. "It's only the first meeting and you've already managed to curse and come in fifteen minutes late. I've worked very hard to become Head girl and I'm not going to let you screw it up, Potter."

"Excuse me, what type of girl did you say you are?" I whispered back with a smirk on my face.

"Head gi-" Her glare intensified which I hadn't known was possible. "Potter, can you stop being a crude pig for even a minute and take this seriously?"

I could hear the Prefects getting impatient and some straining to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help myself. "Feisty. Exactly how I like my Head…" Then a moment later, I added, "girl."

Lily punched me in the arm. I laughed at her feeble attempt to hurt me. Clearly, Marlene was the powerful one of the two.

Lily turned back to the Prefects with a fake smile plastered on her face. "Now, where were we?" She asked, though the question was mostly directed towards her as she shuffled through the papers in front of her. Why didn't I receive any papers? I'm probably just someone Dumbledore chose to sit here and look pretty while Evans' takes the lead. "Ah," she said as she pulled out a piece of parchment. "Deducting points. Dumbledore made it very clear to me to discuss this matter with you guys because we had a bit of an issue with it last year."

See, I'm not crazy. She'd been talking with Dumbledore about these things. What have I been doing? Nothing.

"I'd like to remind you guys to please stop taking away points from people just because you don't like which house they're from or the person in general." She continued in that "oh, look at me! Dumbledore talks to me and I'm important and James Potter's just an overly attractive face with nothing to aid to this conversation!" voice. "Remember that we have to log each points in with McGonagall at the end of every week and last year, McGonagall gave quite a bit of grief to the Head student's Thomas and Arabella, for incorrect deductions. We really don't want to have our deductions taken away like our adding privileges were a few years back."

You know, I should really say something. Here was Evans, going on and on and on about all this professional Head and Prefect business and I was merely sitting here. Maybe in the future I can just bring in a picture or statue of myself and place it on my chair because clearly I was only here for visual purposes.

"Anyway, that's all. Thanks for coming and enjoy the rest of the night." Lily said as she began to stuff the pieces of paper into a manila folder. "Don't forget to check the board outside for patrol duties."

"Oh, and remember," I said, decided to pitch in. "Any questions you have can be answered by your lovely Head girl, Lily Evans, and myself." I placed extra emphasis on the word head.

Lily sent me another dirty glare. If looks could kill, Lily Evans' would've killed me, brought me back to life, then killed me again.


	3. The End of the World

**The End of the World**

Something was wrong. _Very _wrong.

"Moony," I said in-between mouthfuls of chicken during dinner. "Have you recently read an article on the world ending soon? An apocalypse of sorts? Is that holy creature person Genesis–"

"Jesus."

"–Doing that whole sky bleeding–"

"Raining blood."

"–Nonsense?" I asked.

"First of all," Remus said as he spread butter on his dinner roll. "I sincerely hope your eye sight hasn't gone done any lower than it already is considering that the sky _isn't_ red. Second, you should really pay attention in Muggle studies. Third, where is all of this coming from? Did you find a white hair or something?"

I shook my head. "It's the craziest thing. I can't even begin to put it into words. Lately…" I paused. "Moony, you're going to think I'm crazy for this."

"Well good thing Padfoot and Wormtail aren't here to hear your newest nonsense. Go on then, spill." Remus said.

"Lily Evans has been acting very strange lately." I finally announced. Remus stared at me. We sat in silence for a good two minutes as he continued to stare and stuff pieces of bread in his mouth.

For the first month of school, Lily had been her typical self. Every opportunity she got, she insulted me and made sure to add in just how nastily I treated girls. And then slowly, the insults were less harsh and not as frequent to the point where they stopped. At first, I'd brushed it off too, thinking she was only trying to get along with me for the sake of the Prefect's who had to sit there during each meeting and hear us scream at each other, but then she started to be nice to me. _Genuinely_ nice.

"Lily Evans, your fellow Head Girl and all around friendly, well-loved peer, has been nice to you." He repeated. I nodded my head. "Hold on, let me get this straight. _The _Lily Evans has been nice to you?"

"Yes!" I said in an exasperated tone. Man, he was sure acting like Wormtail these days.

"Haven't you considered the distinct possibility that Lily is in fact a smart girl and has realized that since you two are force to work together all year, being civil to each other is the only way to make it through the year alive?" Remus asked. Him and his bloody logic all the time.

"But that's just it! She's not being civil, she's being _nice._ Too nice if you ask me." I cried out. "Look, just watch this," I said, determined to prove my point. "Oi Evans! You're looking really good today!"

Lily turned around from the other end of the table and gave me a wide smile. "Thanks, James, so are you. Your hair looks nice." And with another warm smile, she turned back down to her dinner.

"_See._"

Remus frowned. "That… was weird."

My expression mimicked his as he moved the peas and carrots around on my plate. Something was indeed very wrong.

**12345.**

"So I was thinking," I said as I leaned back against my chair. "That we should probably go to Hogsmeade together this weekend."

It was mid October at this point, right after a particularly long and exhausting meeting with the Prefect's about how to help regulate the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. After we'd finally dismissed the Prefects at around 10, Lily promptly took her hair out of the ponytail it'd been in, ran a hand (very sexily, might I add) through her hair, then took off her sweater that'd she'd been wearing over her blouse and announced that we had a very long night ahead of us.

We were halfway through going over the permission slips for Hogsmeade and checking to see they weren't forged with another huge pile of point deductions to look over afterwards when I decided to interrupt us during our ridiculously bloody long night and to see just how far I could push Lily's new found niceness towards me.

Lily tentatively looked up from her stack of permission slips and gave me a small smile. "Okay."

I narrowed my eyes as she dropped her head back down and continued to work.

"Okay?" I asked. "As in okay, you'll go with me?"

She glanced back up at me and let out a small laugh. "Yes, James, that's typically what okay means."

This was unfuckingbelievable. "Why are you saying yes?"

This time Lily dropped the quill from her hand and paid her full attention towards me, clearly already exhausted from our conversation. "Is James Potter actually shocked that a girl's said yes to his offer of a date?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "James Potter is shocked that said girl is Lily Evans."

"And why is that so hard for you to believe?" She said with a smile on her face. "Is it really difficult to believe that I enjoy your company?"

"Yes, it is."

She continued to smile at me. What bloody fucking game is she playing at.

"So you're interested in me?" I asked.

"I didn't say that."

"You're not exactly denying it either."

She didn't say anything. I smirked.

"Hm, so I managed to get Lily Evans after all. I'll have to send out an owl to everyone I know to inform them that I've tamed the ice queen."

I knew I was pushing it. I saw a quick flicker of anger flash across her face but in an instance it was replaced by a flirty smile again.

"Ice queen? Really?" She leaned in teasingly and whispered in my ear, "I never said you've got me. Just that I've agreed to go out with you."

My eyes narrowed once more. Just as she began to pull away, I grabbed her wrist and locked my eyes with hers, our faces only a mere inch apart.

"So, you like me," I said in a husky voice. "So you won't mind if I do this."

And now, I was _really_ pushing it.

I slide my hand through her soft hair and brought her face closer to mine. I placed a firm kiss on her lips, and then decided that if I was going to test her, I was going to do it the right way. I pushed my mouth hard against her and let my tongue dance across her lips before she finally caved in and allowed me to explore her mouth.

And while it was a bloody fucking hot kiss, I couldn't help but think that one, Lily Evans shouldn't be able to kiss like this, and two, that she shouldn't even be letting me kiss her in the first place.


	4. The Inside of a Woman's Vagina

**A/N:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm glad you guys like the story :) I'm hoping to get the chapters up sooner, now that it's summer, but I won't make any guarantees. I can promise, however, at least one chapter a month. But I'll really try to aim for more. Also, I don't know if any of you remember but in a previous chapter I mentioned that it was mid-November in the story. I'm stupid and forgot my own plot. I changed it to mid-October because Halloween is a crucial part of this story. Also, sorry that the last chapter was so short. I hope this one (slightly) makes up for it. Enjoy!

**Inside A Woman's Vagina**

"She said yes?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

I continued to look over the map in my hand. Lily was in her dormitory along with Alice and Marlene, no doubt gossiping about me. Out of old habit, my eyes flickered across the map until they finally rested on the name that I was so accustomed to seeking out. Emmaline Vance. Hufflepuff's 7th year boys' dormitory. I'd heard that she'd been shagging Amos Diggory but I hadn't known it was true until now. What a downscale it must be for her, to go from me to him and his tiny pecker.

"Maybe she really has had a change of heart…." Remus said, the question clear in his voice.

I put the map down and shrugged. "Dunno mate, it's all weird. And get this, she let me snog her afterward."

Peter's mouth flew open at the same exact time that Sirius dropped the acid pop that he'd been sucking on. You'd think I'd told them that I'd grown an extra arm or something.

On second thought, _that_ would've been more believable than the recent events that I had taken place. I may be devilishly good looking and irresistible, but it was one thing to get any girl I want and a hold 'nother thing to get Lily Evans.

"Snog?" Peter asked. "As in… snog?"

I rolled my eyes, trying to seem nonchalant about this. "Yes, Wormy, _snog_. As in I put my lips on top of hers and stuck my tongue inside her mouth for pleasure."

Remus pushed the drapes away from the window and looked at the sky. "Nope, it's not red," he said as he pulled the drapes again.

I sat up on my mind and ran a hand through my hair. "Look gents, it's real simple. I'm a very attractive human being and Lily has grown tired of denying this fact." I leaned back against the bedpost and crossed my arms across my chest, a smug look on my face.

"Merlin have mercy on us all if you've really been able to win over Lily Evans," Remus muttered. "Goes to show that nice blokes _do_ finish last."

Sirius then turned to me, a wide grin on his face. "So… how does our feisty little ginger snog after all?"

**12345.**

It was a bloody hot day. It was the middle of October, but for some reason it was absolutely _sweltering_ hot. It was only on a rare occasion that this happened, so this clearly must have been a sign that the apocalypse was about to take place. Because it just so happened that the same day that the weather reached a record-breaking high was also the day of my "date" or whatever it sodding was with Lily.

Thank Merlin for this weather though. If it weren't for the blistering heat, Lily Evans would not have been here with me wearing this tiny little pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Her legs seemed to go on for miles, curvy and milky smooth, pure perfection. I could barely control myself from reaching out and rubbing my hands against them, caressing her beautiful thighs.

I swallowed hard. _Easy James,_ I told myself, _don't want to get a stiffy on the first date and scare the girl off_. I caught her glancing at me, a small smile spread across her face.

"How about a refreshing butterbeer at the Three Broomstick's?" I asked, nudging my head in the direction of the little pub where over half of Hogwarts was probably crammed in right now.

"Actually," Lily said, eyeing my carefully. "I was thinking that maybe we could go to Madame Puddifoot's? I hear they have great custard."

I stopped walking. Right there in the middle of the goddamn street I stopped walking, my eyes wide. It took Lily a few moments to realize that I wasn't walking beside her anymore. She turned around slowly, her eyebrows knitted into a small frown. _Madame Puddifoot's_. She did _not_ just say Madame Puddifoot's bloody Tea Shop. No. No, no, no, no, NO.

You see, Madame Puddifoot's was the type of place a bloke went after he'd been whipped so badly by his girl that he'd gotten to the point of doing things such as holding her purse or letting her wipe his face with a bleeding napkin or some shit. By going to Madame Puddifoot's, you basically announced to the world, I am whipped and am no longer in charge of my penis. Fuck, I don't even wank anymore. I'm not allowed.

There was no fucking way I was stepping foot in that man eating tea shop.

"I think you misunderstood me when I said, how about a refreshing butterbeer?" I said with my best flirty grin.

Lily's eyes widened innocently. She walked up to me then placed her hand on my arm. I tried to flex without making it seem obvious. "I know, I just… I've been _craving_ custard lately. Nice, thick custard… melts in your mouth almost. The custard there is so creamy and thick and just mind-blowing _amazing_."

I cleared my throat. Don't get a boner, James. She had to know what she was doing. The way she said thick and creamy, in that low, sultry voice. What the bloody fuck was going on here? This was not the same Lily Evans who blushed at the word vagina last year.

She slid her hand down my arm until she was holding my hand in hers. She lazily drew small circles with the tip of her index finger on my hand, pressing down gently, all the while staring at me with those wide, innocent eyes. Even _this_ was a turn on. I wasn't going to give in. No, damn her and her seductive manipulation. There was no bloody way in hell I was going to step into that pansy shop. No.

"I guess butterbeer is okay… I suppose I'll get custard some other time." She licked her lips tauntingly. Fuck.

**12345.**

It was pink. It was pink _everywhere_. The walls were this atrociously bright pink, paired with baby pink drapes on each window for intimacy. The candles placed on every pink draped table were pink with red jewels glued to the side. The chairs were pink velvet. The menu was pink with white lettering. Oh, and what a shocker, the damn people that took your order had a pink uniform. Pink, pink, pink. Pink everywhere. It was like a pink crayon threw up inside a store and they decided the best thing they could do with it now was to sell bloody teeth. I could feel my sperm count going down.

I looked around nervously. So far the only other people here were this sickeningly touchy-feely third year couple and Alice and Frank. Not much damage caused to my reputation yet. I just had to get through the next twenty minutes, because I swore to myself I'd only stay twenty minutes, before we got to leave with my pride still intact.

Lily brought a spoonful of thick custard to her lips and polished it off in one swift motion. I could see the movement in her neck as she swallowed. I could only imagine what else she could swallow as well…

_Stop it_, I commanded myself. Here I was in this overly girly, pink from floor to ceiling, sweet smelling, manhood stealing shop and I was still able to go from flaccid to hard as a rock in the matter of seconds. There's definitely something wrong with me.

"I take it you've never been to Madame Puddifoot's before," Lily said.

"Aside from the fact that I would never be caught dead in a place like this, what would give you that idea?" I replied cheekily.

She smirked, and then nodded her head at my barely touched cup of tea. "Anyone who's ever been here, or at least knows someone who's been in here, would know that the tea is equivalent to heated up sewer water."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, my mates and I have better things to do than come here and have custard and tea. And besides, you'd think that choosing tea at a _tea _shop would be a safe choice…."

"And that's where you're wrong," Lily said as she finished off the remaining bit of the custard. "The tea here is terrible. I don't even think it is tea. I think Madame Puddifoot did it for irony. Because there's no way that someone who serves such an amazing cup of coffee can fail so miserably at making tea."

"So what you're telling me," I said slowly. "Is to never go for the obvious? For example, let's say that I went to a coffee house, should I order anything but the coffee?"

"Precisely," Lily said with a smile.

I nodded my head, pretending to be blown away by this ridiculously absurd idea. "Interesting…. You know, I think you could apply this rule to all aspects of life. I mean, I'm here with you now, aren't I? You're not exactly my first choice, or my second for that matter and maybe not even a third, when it comes to girls but we seem to be having a good enough time, aside from the fact that you've dragged me to a fucking tea shop that strongly resembles the inside of a woman's vagina. Other than all of that, I have to say that I'm glad I applied your questionable life rule to this evening."

I watched a mixture of emotions flicker across her face. I could tell it took every ounce of her self-control to not splash the heated up sewer water at my face. Bingo. If this was still the Lily Evans I knew, she wouldn't let me talk to her like that without giving me a piece of her mind too.

But again, she pushed all her anger aside and inside leaned forward as though she were about to tell me a big secret and replied, "Exactly. You see, I wouldn't be caught dead with a prick like you. Merlin knows I used to bloody hate your pathetic guts. But I've never really been lucky with blokes in the past, they all seemed nice enough at first but they all turned out to be wankers." She leaned in closer now, dropping her voice in a seductive manner. I was so close to her at this point that I could count all the freckles that were lightly showered on her nose. Her eyes looked gorgeous and green. I momentarily forgot about the conversation and where we were. "So I decided, why not apply my life rule to men? So I did. And that, James, is why we are currently sitting inside a woman's vagina. Because as you said, I'm not your first choice, or your second, probably not even your tenth, but your not mine either. We're both here because under normal circumstances we would never in a million years be together. I like that we're breaking this unspoken rule. That Lily Evans and James Potter can't be together because they hate each other. It's thrilling. It's almost as daring as going to a coffee shop and getting something that's not coffee. And who knows, maybe it'll work out in the end. There's no harm in trying. Worst case scenario is you dump the tea or hot chocolate or whatever you bought and go back to the comfort of buying coffee."

When I kissed her, it wasn't just because I was used to kissing girls on dates. Normally it was part of a pattern I followed. Take a girl out, then snog her at the pub or wherever we were. But not this time. When I kissed it, it was because something in her little speech just made sense to me. It made me like her, as a person, not just a girl who I wanted to hook up with. Hearing her say it out loud, it proved my suspicion that she wasn't doing this because she liked _me_. She was doing this because the idea of fancying and being with me was so far out there and bizarre that it was almost worth giving a chance, just to see how far it would go. I liked that. I really bloody liked that. I liked the idea of doing something so unthinkable and hoping it would work.

When I kissed her, it wasn't like our first kiss. That time it had been hot and heavy and we were both yearning with a desire to rip our clothes off and shag. This time it felt right, right when it came to Lily that is. I loved a heated snog, but with Lily that had been all wrong. This time it was slow and careful and when I slowly slide my tongue into her mouth it was attentive and caring. It was a _nice_ kiss, not the dirty types I was used to. But it felt so bloody good. Better than all the other kisses I'd ever had. It felt right.

That fucking scared me more than the fact that I was still sitting inside Madame Puddifoot's, well after twenty minutes.


	5. The Butterbeer Incident

_**A/N:**_ Thanks everyone for the reviews! I truly appreciate them :) And as a thank you, look how quickly I updated! In less than a week, I'm rather proud of myself. As per usual, enjoy and please review!

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**The Butterbeer Incident**

We held hands as we walked through Hogsmeade. It was weird, I never held hands with a girl. It sent the wrong message. Holding hands with a girl was equivalent to saying "I care about you". No, I was more of an arm around the shoulder kind of guy. That showed property, power, and occasionally allowed me to drop my hand casually to her tits. But no, something about Lily compelled me to hold her hand. I'm not a lovely dovey sappy kind of guy who thinks that one magical date could change my whole outlook on life. I still wanted to shag Lily more than I wanted to hear her go on about her life or to hold her hand. But for some reason, it just seemed right to hold her hand after we shared a kiss like that. I would almost be doing injustice to the best kiss I've ever had if I didn't.

She stopped walking once we were by The Three Broomsticks. I didn't notice until I felt a small tug on my arm when I took the next step. She nodded her head lightly towards the pub. "Let's go get you your butterbeer," she said.

"It's fine, I didn't really want any in the first place," I replied. I didn't know why I was lying – butterbeer was my favorite. I relished the trips to Hogsmeade when I got to freely sit at The Three Broomsticks and sip on the thick, sweet liquid. It was different when we snuck out occasionally and bought some. I couldn't pinpoint why, it just was. And right now, I didn't know why I was bloody refusing some. She just looked so tired and cold now that the sun had faded that all I wanted to do was take her back and warm her up by the fire. Blech.

She smiled. "I know you, James. You love butterbeer. I'm not about to be the reason why you didn't get it for the first time since we've been allowed to come to Hogsmeade. Let's go."

It's like she uttered the magic words and this weird spell she'd cast on me was finally lifted. She was right, I _loved_ buttebeer. The Three Broomsticks was amongst my favorite places and I wasn't about to let one good date mess with my head. I let her lead me in, mesmerized by how smooth her legs looked and by the slight movement in her hips as she walked. I knew Lily was the type of girl who took time and effort to be able to shag, but she was damn worth it. If she could give me a boner by just walking in front of me, I couldn't begin to imagine what seeing her in my bed would do.

"Oi, James! Lily! Over here!"

The sound of my name broke my trance and I looked away from Lily. A big grin spread across my face; of course Sirius, Peter, and Remus would be here.

Lily stopped walking and looked at me slightly uncomfortably. "Erm, maybe we should get another table for our-"

"Don't be silly," I said, taking control of where we were walking for the first time since we started to hold hands. "The blokes are already here, let's go sit with them."

I could feel Lily was uncomfortable but I pushed the thought aside. These were my _friends_, for Merlin's sake. If she wanted to spend time with me, she'd have to learn to get along with my best mates.

We grabbed two chairs and pulled them up to the table, sandwiching ourselves between Peter and Sirius. Man, they sure took up a lot of space. And from the looks of the content on the table, a mixture of cups for butterbeer and firewhiskey, they'd been having quite a bit of fun before we got here. I groaned inwardly at the thought of Sirius puking all night. He didn't have the stomach of a drinker like I did – he was a bit of a pansy when it came to that. He about puked his whole stomach out after one of our infamous parties over the summer.

"So what've you two been up to today?" Sirius asked. "Knowing m'boy, probably snogging off in some corner er another, right?"

Lily shot Sirius a dirty look. "Actually, we were just coming back from Madame Puddifoot's."

Sirius raised his eyebrow and glanced at me before settling his view back on Lily. "Madame Puddifoot you say?"

"Yes," I jumped in quickly, trying to salvage as much of my reputation I could by the damage Lily had just done. "They have excellent custard. Excellent. You'd love it, Pad."

"I'm sure he would," Remus said, interrupting before Sirius could have a chance to talk. I silently thanked him. Remus was a god. If I didn't like girls so much, I'd go after him. Thankfully, Rosemerta showed up with two butterbeers at the same time. She set them in front of Sirius and Remus, but Remus grabbed both and handed them to Lily and me. "Now how about a butterbeer you two?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I replied at the same time that Lily said, "No thanks, I don't like butterbeer."

An awkward silence.

She didn't like butterbeer? Was that possible? Was it physically possibly for a human being to not enjoy the taste of a delectable butterbeer? I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Not liking butterbeer was equivalent to punching small babies. It was a crime. It was a disgusting, horrible crime. I tried to hide the look of shock that covered every inch of my face.

"You don't like butterbeer…" Peter clarified.

Lily slowly shook her head.

"I'm sure you're more of a firewhiskey girl," I added in with a wolfish smile. "Right, Lily?"

"Actually," she said slowly. "I'm not really a fan of alcoholic beverages. Sure, a bit of wine here or there on special occasions, but that's classy."

I cleared my throat. Merlin's fucking beard. I'd brought the Virgin Mary along.

"Butterbeer isn't really alcohol," I pointed out. "It's a very low concentration – hardly any is used. It doesn't have any effect on you, unless you down maybe twenty or so in a row. And you can't taste the alcohol over the other flavors."

"Yes you can," she snapped. "I just don't like it, okay?"

I could feel the bloke's eyes on the two of us, but I couldn't let this go. "No you can't. Not unless you're really trying to search for the flavor. I'm sure that you're so hell bent on not liking alcohol that you've talked yourself into hating butterbeer."

"I have not! Like I told you, I just don't like the taste. Blimely, let it go, James."

"But," I pressed. "I think you're mistaken. Just try it," I said, pushing the buttebeer in front of her. "Just this once."

"No thank you," Lily replied, her eyes hard and her glare bore a hole into my head.

I pushed it closer to her. "Do it, please. I promise you won't regret it."

"Er, maybe you should just let it go Prongs," Remus said uncomfortably, eyeing the situation. Sirius and Peter continued to stare in silence.

"I went to bloody Madame Puddifoot's with her," I said with a forced smile. "She can damn well drink the buttebeer in return, it won't kill her."

Lily leaned closer to me, her voice low and filled with venom. "Oh so that's what this is about? You're trying to force me to drink this because of the whole Madame Puddifoot incident. I _knew_ you didn't want to go, you should've just told me you didn't want to. Don't blame it on me. If you'd voiced your opinion instead of being so concerned about killing your chances of 'getting some', then maybe we could've gone somewhere else and you'd still keep your reputation unscathed."

I could feel the anger swelling up inside me. "Oh yeah? Well fuck you, Miss Goody Two Shoes. You knew damn well that I didn't want to go yet you kept pushing, and pushing, and _pushing_ going there with your miserable attempt at being seductive. Oh James, please let me have some thick delicious custard that melts in my mouth!" I mimicked.

She grabbed her purse and shot another angry look at me. "Thanks for the _lovely_ time, wanker!"

In her hurry to get up, she didn't realize how dangerously close the butterbeer was to the edge of the table. She got up with such an angry force that caused the table to shake and to send the butterbeer spilling all over her clothes.

"Shit," Sirius whispered.

Shit, indeed.

**12345.**

A part of me felt bad. This was new. I could tell that I'd gone and ruined a perfectly nice evening by behaving the way I had. But that was just it… that was the type of person I was. Lily couldn't pick me apart and choose what part of me she liked and what part she wanted to do away with. I would never be the type of bloke that would bend to every whim of his lady. No fucking way. I was outspoken, said what I wanted, did what I wanted. She couldn't take that away from me. Sure, I'd overreacted a little over the butterbeer incident, but she'd overreacted just as well.

But still. I felt bad.

"Mate," Sirius said as he tossed a ball up a down while lying on his bed in hopes of distracting himself from throwing up. "Let it go. It's one chick; one chick with a very weird set of priorities. Who doesn't drink butterbeer? Lemme tell you something, there's gotta be something wrong with that pretty little head of hers."

"But I was _so_ close!" I moaned. I angrily took my glasses off, shoving them on the desk next to my bed. "Another date like that and she would've been mine!"

Remus, who up until that point had remained fairly quiet, sat up. "James, you don't really think she was ever yours to begin with, do you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously not, Moony. I'm not bloody thick. With the way the date had gone earlier, I'd figured in a week or so I'd have her wrapped around my finger."

Remus frowned. "It's just a little weird, isn't it? That Lily suddenly likes you? Er, I suppose _liked_ would be more accurate now."

"What're you saying?" I asked defensively.

"It's a little… out of the blue," Remus said with a shrug. "She went from hating you to wanting to be with you in the matter of a few weeks. It doesn't really click. Something seems off."

I narrowed my eyes. How dare he underestimate my charm when it came to women? "I'll have you know that Lily and I have already had this conversation. We see eye to eye as to why she has this sudden interest in me."

"But," Remus interjected. "She's friends with Marlene."

"So?"

Remus sighed. "They're _best_ friends, James. They're practically sisters. After the way you hurt Marlene, I doubt that she'd be okay with Lily being with you. And as far as I've seen, they seem to be on friendly terms still."

"You know, you've got a point there Moon," Sirius said in agreement.

"Yeah," Peter pitched in. I'd hardly noticed his presence in the room, he'd been busy fiddling with another new cheap toy he'd bought at Zonko's.

I crossed my arms across my chest. "You guys don't understand. I could sit here and try to explain to you the complexity of my relationship with Lily Evans, but I don't think any of you would be able to grasp the idea of it all." Sirius snorted, but I continued, ignoring his rudeness. "It's not so much of a relationship as an experiment. And now, thanks to my bloody mouth and butterbeer, I've gone and ruined it. So if you don't mind, I think I'm going to go to sleep now and try to think of a way to salvage my relationship with her."

As I was turning off the lights, I distinctly heard Sirius mutter, "He just wants to get with her, he loves a challenge."

I smiled. So maybe that was true. I did want to get with her. I was a male, and she… well she was one hot bird. So yeah, my "relationship" with her was an experiment as well as a reward if things went well. And right now, they weren't. I shut my eyes, promising myself that I would get Lily, even if it were the last thing I'd do. No girl had ever abruptly ended things with me – that was always _my_ doing. And I wasn't about to let Lily Evans of all people fucking change that.


End file.
